Participation in the hospice program has completely changed my perspective on life. A life fully lived is one to celebrate, but the ending of a life is often painful. I will forever cherish being a part of my hospice patient’s life at such a critical point.
Around two years ago, my own mother was in hospice, and it was the most difficult time of my life. She had been battling stage 4 colon cancer for four years prior to hospice. I wish I was a part of this program before she was admitted to hospice, because by then I hated the idea of and the word “hospice.” All I associated with hospice was a skull. I saw no beauty behind it. Now, I am extremely grateful that my mom was a part of such a program that helped ease her pain when the cancer controlled her body. I wanted to join this program to help others because of my experience, but in the end, this program helped me find peace with my mother’s end-of-life treatment.
I had the privilege of spending the entire year of this program with a single individual. This patient unfortunately has dementia that has only progressed as the year went on. While it was difficult to witness the confusion of my patient grow, her outlook on life was inspiring. Her mind may have been slipping, but her personality traits remained intact. Every time I would visit, she would offer me a piece of her snack that she was eating or offer to give me her jewelry when I complimented it. She was a wonderful lady to have gotten to know. As the visits progressed, I expected our relationship to grow for the both of us, but this was one-sided. My patient would not remember my previous visits due to her medical condition. Many of my visits consisted of the same conversations in the same place. She was engaged in every conversation, and I could tell she appreciated my visits in the moment even though she didn’t remember. That alone made all of the repetition worth it.
This program is so special and has taught me so much that I am excited to incorporate into my career when I am a doctor one day. Many doctors today are super intelligent, but lack compassion for their patients. The doctor-patient relationship is arguably the most important relationship, but is often neglected. I am grateful for all that I have learned from this program and will hold the memories that I have created with my patient close to my heart.