Invaluable Intangibles
My involvement with the Athena Institute Pre-Med Hospice program has challenged my vision of being a physician in a fast-paced emergency room and reshaped my rigid definition of medicine. Now, I consider my calling to healthcare as more of a call to healing than a call to cure.
Reading Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal transformed my perspective on healthcare systems and solutions, sparked my interest in the shortcomings of end-of-life care in the American healthcare system, and inspired me to apply to this program. Regretfully, I never got to form a relationship with a hospice patient due to interruptions from COVID-19 and administrative challenges. However, the educational component of this program has taught me invaluable lessons about the intangible skills required to humanize healthcare and bring dignity to the end of life.
I learned how often end-of-life care can be plagued by the notion that healing is synonymous with fixing. Contrary to what we think about medicine, in the context of hospice, I learned that one must relinquish control instead of fight for it. Learning about the trust between patients and their caregivers showed me how human connection was as foundational to medicine as physical intervention. I realized that at its best, medicine heals at the conjunction of compassion and science. It stuck with me that something as simple as asking how someone would like their hair brushed could be important to giving that person dignity at the end of their life.
Before joining the program, I had an experience in medicine where I felt unheard and dismissed. I struggled to articulate what frustrated me so much about this. Now, I understand that the one-sided nature of the conversation with my provider made me feel like an outsider in my own care. This program has taught me that no conversation in healthcare should ever be one-sided. I have learned that great physicians will listen more than talk, and they will listen not just to respond, but to make their patients feel heard. I have learned how a multifaceted approach that is both patient-centered and patient-specific is essential to humanizing healthcare. This lesson extends beyond dignity at the end of life and into every realm of medicine.
To return to my vision: I can still imagine myself working in a fast-paced emergency room. However, my perspective is changed. When I imagine myself as a physician, I see a woman who truly values each patient beyond their treatable symptoms or diagnosable condition. I see someone who will always question how health systems are serving their patients and how they are leaving some behind. And I imagine myself using the skills I have gained in this program to give myself the space to grieve and process loss so that I can find clarity in a profession that depends so heavily on giving to others.
This program has taught me that there is so much to medicine beyond raw science and that intangible skills like communication and compassion take just as much practice as memorizing a metabolic pathway.