When I first learned about Hospice and what it entailed, I experienced a range of emotions. At first, it was something I very much was interested in doing, until others started to refer to the emotional burden it would entail. That was when my interest turned into apprehension, especially as those around me casted doubt over what I thought would be a great experience. However, after watching “Being Mortal”, it changed my perspective on what death means and how it’s talked about in a society that dismisses those unfit to work. Previously, I was never exposed to that side of medicine or the difficult conversations doctors had to have, so watching Being Mortal introduced a side that was unknown to me. It demonstrated doctors have to have compassion for their patients and genuinely want what is best for them. Whether that is pursuing aggressive treatment or acknowledging that they would rather live the rest of their lives without pursuing further treatment. From a doctor’s perspective, this can be difficult to come to terms with, especially when you believe your job is to “fix” your patients. Consequently, they are often willing to keep on pursuing aggressive treatment to cure or minimize the disease, when it’s not in the patient’s best interest. Participating in Hospice has allowed me to grow in not just semantic knowledge, but emotionally as I’ve formed bonds with the patients.
When I first started to see my patient, it was jarring yet amazing because here I was, in a position to hear someone else’s life events and tap into a vast wealth of knowledge. I remember getting to know my first patient and thinking of what an interesting life they’ve lived and how fortunate I am to be able to get to know them better over time. It didn’t hit me until I left that they were in hospice, which predicts someone dying within a year or less. It was a delayed realization which made me remember and reflect on how fleeting life is. How someone who appears to be lively or outwardly healthy is in a stage of life where they subconsciously know that their time’s limited. It was more of an emotional experience than I realized it would be, but it has given a different interpretation to living to the fullest. While it’s devastating to be cut off from your patient, rather abruptly, when they get taken to the hospital, it has enforced that concept of fleetingness and cherishing the relationships I was fortunate enough to build. To get a chance to be exposed to this experience has been a very rewarding opportunity, and has allowed me to reflect on life and death. I now have a better understanding of death where it’s not something to fear, but how nearing the end of life can be a beautiful stage.
This experience has shaped the way I view life and death, and has made the prospect of becoming a doctor even more rewarding. While I don’t think this is the line of medicine I want to pursue, death or end of life comes up regardless of your chosen path. Therefore, this experience has been incredibly rewarding in ways I didn’t think possible.