To put this experience into words proves difficult, simply because I’ve learned a lifetime of experience in just a few months. I think the best way to do so would be to explain who my first patient was, and how she transformed my perspective of the world of medicine.
“Caroline” and I had a very calm relationship. We spent several months together, discussing her past, and reliving memories. She was my very first patient in the Athena Program, and she is the most impactful person I’ve encountered in a long of a time. She treated me like I was her grandchild, and I treated her like she was an extension of my family. She was not a fan of the food from the home that she lived in, so oftentimes I would bring her an additional treat, or work-out how to bring her soup. We both loved soup. I spent time with her, learning of her grievances, and allowing her to feel heard in every emotion she showed me. We would spend the entire hour of our session, if not more, talking. Caroline was hard of breathing, so on good days, I would set up her portable oxygen tank so that we could move to other places outside of the room. She enjoyed the change of scenery, and we indulged in watching the seasons pass us along with the time. Perhaps this is the part of volunteering in hospice that you forget about… until it happens.
Caroline was lively and quick to ask to learn about my life, as I was to hers as well, and it was easy to be excited about our time together. I can recall my first few visits where I was taken aback by how healthy she was. For several months, as I spent time with her and watched her recall my friends’ name’s and favorite activities, I had forgotten that I was even a hospice volunteer. I had forgotten that this, our time together, had an approaching end date. This was the beginning of my understanding of volunteering in hospice, and thus the beginning of my real understanding of the practices of medicine.
On the list of things I’ve learned from my time as a volunteer, and my time with Caroline, the most important thing has to be how taxing the job can be. This has taught me how to be consistent and compassionate, how to prioritize my work, and how to prioritize my health in my work as well. Caroline taught me that nothing is permanent, and equally that medicine does not equate to progression. Working in hospice means that these people will come to pass, even after documenting a day where I was proud of how healthy she seemed. Medicine is something I will practice, but the program has taught me that compassion is something I will do. I could not be more grateful for this program and for the knowledge I’ve learned through it. I intend to take the lessons I’ve learned from the program and apply them directly to my personal and professional life.
I am indebted, and forever grateful to this program, to these people, and to Caroline.