My patient, “Rose,” and I hit it off very quickly when we met. While “Rose” struggles with independent mobility, she is of sound mind, and the two of us enjoy having in-depth conversations about a variety of topics. I visit her each weekend, and we always find something new to discuss.
The first couple times I visited “Rose,” I felt unsure about how to provide high-quality support. I felt uncertain about how helpful I could be, and I was unsure how to respond appropriately to heavier subjects that “Rose” brought up, like how difficult it was to live away from her family and stay in a nursing home. I wished to help ease her mind, but I felt that I didn’t know how to.
Thankfully, around this time, we received training prompt 1.6, which discussed what matters at the end of life, and I additionally received an active listening guide from the Athena Hospice newsletter. Both of these helped me see the importance of simple acts – like showing that you care, using active listening, and validating patients’ feelings. While the ways in which I was allowed to help were limited mostly to conversation, I learned that helping someone feel heard and understood is invaluable. I developed more confidence in my abilities as a hospice volunteer, and I practiced my active listening skills with “Rose,” making sure she knew I cared.
As I got to know “Rose,” she began opening up about her experiences staying in a nursing home. She’d tell me stories about the friends she made and lost, about aides often being unkind, and about how being far from family can feel very removed from life. This truly showed me the extent of how necessary compassionate care is, especially for patients who are unable to see their loved ones. Loneliness is a common feeling, so it is a very important skill to show love, gratitude, and appreciation for the people around you.
Over the course of my hospice volunteering and training, I’ve also become significantly more aware of how important it can be to acknowledge death and consider it in a healthy way. Understanding my own feelings about death has allowed me to pursue life in a more fulfilling way, by “creating meaning” instead of avoiding suffering. This was a topic we discussed in one of our reflection and resources meetings and it truly stuck with me. I have learned how to pursue what I love without regret, and I prioritize spending my time with the people who mean the most to me.
Overall, this experience has deepened my understanding of the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of patient care. It has allowed me to confront my own perceptions of mortality and develop the resilience and emotional skills necessary for a career in medicine. I have realized how much I enjoy helping “Rose,” reinforcing my commitment to a future in healthcare, and I am excited to continue my journey.