In my culture, discussing death is taboo. These conversations are typically reserved for older individuals. Young people like me are obliged to avoid this topic due to its perceived scariness. However, my perspective on this difficult subject has changed drastically after volunteering in the Athena hospice program.
For instance, through the program’s training, group discussions, and patient visits, I realized that death is indeed inevitable and difficult to accept. Nevertheless, I have also learned that people could have a ‘good’ death when spaces are created to allow them to engage in activities they uphold. Through these interactions, patients may forget about their current worries and have fulfilling moments.
One memorable patient who had a ‘good’ death experience was “Mr. Gold”. He was one of the very first patients I visited for a long while before he unfortunately transitioned. In my initial visits, Mr. Gold was devastated about his terminally ill condition and the loss of his daughter. He opened up to me about his worries, and I always assured him of my support. The more I spent time with him, the more he opened up about his life. Through our conversations, I was able to find his favorite hobbies. So, we bonded by watching his favorite football games and comic shows on TV. He enjoyed partaking in holiday celebrations too: one memorable holiday we celebrated was honoring him on Veterans Day.
I believe he experienced a good death, finding comfort in these moments. Though his passing was unexpected, I believe by engaging in activities he loved, I assisted in sharing memorable experiences that distracted him from his worries. Spending time with him also molded my communication skills: listening actively, being patient, and taking small cues from patients.
My hospice volunteering experience especially with Mr. Gold, indeed, has been transformative. I have had a good perspective on death. This insight has made me appreciate the moments I spend with my loved ones more substantially. This experience has also made me approach care more empathetically. As an aspiring doctor, this experience sparked my desire to care for patients, with a focus on comfort and meeting patient needs. Incorporating this experience with treatment will be crucial in fulfilling my future role as a surgeon.