I first met Peter who was a patient suffering from Parkinson’s Disease back in September. The first time I met Peter, I had extreme difficulty speaking to him and understanding the words he spoke. I remember, right after that visit, I had utterly convinced myself that Peter would be a difficult patient to visit and my presence would not be effective since we lacked the ability to communicate with each other. My presumption was quickly overturned once I spoke to Peter again, and continued on. I learned about little details of his life once I spent more and more time with him and once I began to understand that time provides a gazillion small encounters summing to knowledge of one another over time. Since he was very quiet, I found myself seated on the carpet near where Peter would sit, often deep in conversation. He was a joy to know. Peter passed away on New Year’s Eve. While he unfortunately was not able to live to see the new year, I have come to the peace and understanding that his timing was right. I met Peter at the right time. Peter lived at the right time. He left the earth at the right time.
At the start of the program, I was visiting four wonderful patients. Unfortunately, I am now only visiting two since the other two have passed. The reality of death hit me very hard when I found out my first patient had passed. He was truly such a sweet man. I began to see things more clearly, to not take the time I had with these patients for granted, and to always give them my full attention because it could be the last I get to see them. I have come to realize my impact, as one woman I visit remembers me and always feels sad when I have to leave. I am learning to not take the little interactions with people in my life for granted.
Time appears to be our greatest enemy in life when it is actually a gift. We are people who are never satisfied. We never have enough time because we are always wanting more and more. Being Mortal talks about how searching hard for something positive to say and going to lengths far beyond human control to save a life is not always the best response. Acceptance is hard but the realization of this gift is rather freeing. Once we accept time as it is given, our only choice is to embrace it. Life is more than time, that being said. There is so much fullness and joy that comes from every encounter.
Some might argue that our beloved hospice patients stopped living the very minute they walked through the doors of their hospice facility. However, I would say that that is completely false. As long as we are breathing, we are living. Every experience is worth something more than we can understand. Every patient I have met has, in some way, expressed their joy and appreciation for the visits. With that in mind, I am able to see the impact we are making as volunteers. Life does not end after a diagnosis or the loss of vision or even the ability to walk. I had a patient who often spoke about how she noticed her decline, not being able to read books anymore due to her loss of vision. However, I have had many wonderful and fruitful conversations with her. I have learned that people are not their diagnosis and they are most definitely not their current state. They are so much more than the surface.