Even though I am no longer planning on working in direct patient care, I find great value in my experiences this year in hospice care. Many of the skills I have learned from this experience have accumulated with each visit I made. Whatever path I choose, these values and skills will be at the forefront of my memories. Empathy is something I have stressed all throughout the year. Within my essays, you’ll find that my greatest conviction is the importance of empathy everywhere – in the workspace, at home, with friends, etc. And I still stand by it. My experience in hospice has allowed me to reinforce this conviction. I have learned to stop jumping to conclusions, but rather, to ask questions. I have learned that silence is okay. It means that someone may be listening to you.
I had the privilege to listen to countless stories from my patients of their lives. I appreciated the openness and comfort of the patients speaking about their experiences. This is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to understand who they were and to be a companion to them. When a person is at this stage of their life, most want comfort and the feeling that someone is there for them.
Giving a fraction of my week to just listen to, at first, a stranger, had been a privilege, not a reward. I think I went into hospice believing that this will reward me. I will have a box to check off or I will feel morally good after I do this. I went in with good intentions. Many people go into it with good intentions as well. Though, most convey a transactional mindset. I give up my time, then this will make me a better person, then it will make me feel morally good, and then it will produce a good outcome for me. I believe that I give up my time because I want to see and cheer up my patient today. I realize in the end, the main objective for visiting hospice should not represent a reward system because then it feels selfish. Rather, this personal feeling of being morally good should act as a natural extension to the care we are giving the patients. As a provider, the needs of a patient must always comes before the needs of a provider. Part of the reason why healthcare has been a major part of my career goal mission is because I feel that healthcare industries can be selfish and care only about their outcome and the money they collect in the end. Healthcare should not feel transactional; however many do. We see it on the news with insurance companies who capitalize on those who cannot afford a big bill. And most of the time, patients do not understand the extent of their expenses until the end of their treatment when they are handed the bill. I wanted to find something that shifts the spotlight off money for once and onto the needs of the patient. My experience in hospice has exceeded my expectations. I was lucky enough to experience the care and hospitality workers within the building greeted each patient with. The core focus was not on how much the patient would pay by the end. I appreciated that this organization not only helped the patient, but also their family. Whatever sector of healthcare I am in, I will remember this experience. I will remember my patients. I will remember that healthcare should be about caring for the patient, not for the money they carry in their wallets.