Before starting hospice, I was admittedly quite nervous. This was not my first experience with hospice, since my grandmother was on hospice before she died in 2019 and my mother worked as a hospice therapist in 2022. Despite being familiar with hospice, I was unaware of internal procedures. I was worried that I might not be fit for the job since I did not know what it entailed. However when I started seeing patients, I was pleasantly surprised. It was nothing like what I thought it would be. When people think of hospice, they usually think of death. The same was for me. Yet, what I found out was that hospice is really about life and celebrating it.
I spent the most of my time with one patient, which I will call Sea for privacy. On the patient information page, there was a note saying that Sea was quite chatty. When we first met, this proved to be true, but after the second meeting it seemed that she did not want to talk. I was determined to get her talking, but seemingly every meeting she did not have anything to say. I was really worried that Sea did not like me and that I was not able to make a connection. Most of our meetings consisted of watching old television shows together. However, one day I walked in and she remembered me by name! I was so excited! On one of our last visits, Sea told me before I left that she was excited to see me in two weeks and she would be waiting for our next visit. The very last visit I had with her was before winter break. I could tell that she did not have much time left, as she was unable to hold her head up. When she died, I got the sweetest message from her family expressing their gratitude which included a note about how Sea mentioned me in their visits.
My time with Sea really defined my hospice experience. She taught me a lot about connecting with others. Going in I was convinced that conversation was the way that connections were made. After meeting Sea, I learned that connecting with others can be as simple as just sitting with them and keeping them company. She taught me patience and that relationships take time and effort. I was really anxious to “do well” when I first started, but after multiple visits with Sea, I learned how to slow down and just enjoy. Pre-med pathway teaches that grades are the highest priority. Hospice teaches the opposite, instead making the small moments between two people the most important. The most important lesson I learned throughout my course as a hospice volunteer is to take things one moment at a time. Hospice is seen as death because people are always jumping to the end. The real truth and beauty of hospice is in every smile, laugh, connection, and moment spent living.
This lesson will stay with me as I continue my career in the medical field. Doctors are so concerned with the binary of life versus death, particularly minimizing death, that they never stop to think about what defines life. To hospice patients, life is not simply just defined as living, but instead defined by love, connection, humanity, joy, etc. This is so important to remember when treating patients. I believe that every medical professional should spend time in palliative care. It is necessary to understand death in the context of living, as normally in the medical field, living is seen in the context of death. Patients are not problems to fix, they are people to be genuinely cared for. I am grateful for my experience in hospice for guiding me to this understanding.