As Janet and Carl were in the back of the car on their way to meet a patient, Kate, that we had been told could be quite hostile and angry when visitors arrived, there was certainly an air of uneasiness. I do not think either Janet or Carl were necessarily scared, just anxious about the interaction to come.
When they arrived at the building, checked in, and found the room, they saw Kate’s eyes widen. Kate had been diagnosed with a terminal illness that had her permanently bedridden as well as caused her to become clinically depressed. As they saw her eyes widen, nervously anticipating her reaction, they simply heard a faint, “Hello.” Her voice sounded weak, yet kind. She appeared to be agitated, yet intelligent and alert. Almost instantly, any trace of worry about being able to interact with her was gone. For the next forty-five minutes, Janet and Carl spoke with Kate. The conversation, if taken alone, was nothing extraordinary. They discussed television preferences, family, and the upcoming storm. However, when considering the fact that it had been reported Kate was very angry with the person who had visited her last week, Carl realized something he considered to be profound, in a sense. Regardless of how Kate may feel on a given day, it was very clear to Carl who she truly was, and that any sort of behavior that could be labeled as “hostile” or “angry” was beyond understandable.
Now, speaking personally, I have without a doubt greatly altered my view of death and dying throughout this experience. I no longer view death with a sense of taboo. As mentioned in Being Mortal, one should attempt to overcome taking the seemingly easier path of avoiding confronting death when it is imminent for a loved one. In this film, they discussed how certain doctors and other caregivers are trying to be more honest when it comes to delivering news of chronic illness to families. Instead of trying to somewhat invent good when there is not any, doctors attempted to have their patients confront the idea of death as early as possible in an attempt to live out the rest of their days with some meaning. I could very much see the message of this film in my hospice experience as I learned to realize that every interaction with these people is incredibly meaningful regardless of what is inevitable in the future.
In terms of my sense of vocation, I believe this experience has done nothing but confirm my aspiration to be some sort of medical caregiver. By being able to better understand what it means to live knowing one’s life will soon end has given me a new sense of what it means to provide for someone. Instead of simply viewing a medical professional’s job as one that solely saves lives, it is more generally one that strives to improve their patients’ lives to their very best ability. The idea of being involved in a field that, by definition, is committed to helping people deal with difficulties, including their inevitable end, is something that I would greatly cherish and hopefully enjoy.