Watching Being Mortal and the prompts I received helped me view death a lot differently. I also took an APSD Preparing for Health Careers course at Villanova and it also gave us insight on the work of a hospice volunteer. We followed the story of one woman who was told by a family not to tell or talk about death with her patient meanwhile, the patient was aware she was dying. It also touched on the idea of how do you help a family in denial of the inevitable cope? I used to think death was scary; actually, I still do. Maybe it is best to say I used to think death was the end. Technically in a way, it is, but I learned it is much more than that. Death is a natural part of life, the same way the birth of a newborn is. That being said, they should both be given the same respect and admiration. And if you believe in God as I do, you may see death as the beginning of a new story.
Honestly, I didn’t get a chance to interact with patients as much as the others did. I have asthma and in February I had gotten the flu and bronchitis. I didn’t want to infect any patients so I stayed focused on getting better and after I recovered I had a ton of work to make up due to missing classes for doctor visits and resting. However, I did interact with one patient who was a lady I will give the name Benny. Benny was very nice and optimistic. Although I wanted to talk about her, she only wanted to talk about me. When I asked her why, she said, “My story is over while yours is just beginning. I want to know who I am leaving the world with.” I thought this was an incredible statement. I never heard someone speak of death (especially their own) with such calmness. Her bravery made me feel at ease. I think I went in to hospice thinking that the patients would be anxious and need comforting but I quickly realized that wasn’t the case. Benny was content with the way she lived her life and, although she wished she had more time, she believed since it was her time to go she should be ready. I respected this. In the end I was the only one with regrets since I wish I had gotten a chance to interact with her and others like her more.
This course has helped me mature and made me stop living my life in fear of death and embrace it. No one wants to die but we all will one day and, when my day comes, I hope I will be as fearless as Benny was. I am glad I had this experience and was able to learn more about the dying process. Nobody ever likes talking about dying and I didn’t realize there was so much I didn’t know and how complex the subject actually is. The hospice work has helped make me more compassionate (even though I already was), and a better listener. It has also humbled me as I realized I cannot control everything as, even though I wish I could, I cannot extend the life of another person. In addition, it taught me that if I desire to be in the medical field I cannot save every patient and I should not blame myself for this as dying is natural.