Volunteering in the Pre-Med Hospice Volunteer Program has been a rewarding experience I did not expect in the entire duration of the academic year. It was something unique compared to other volunteer programs as it involved more patient communication and interaction. Death has been one of the topics not openly discussed in society, and my curiosity led me to apply for the program. I was able to know and understand better the concept of dying, in which all of mankind ultimately face. Although that is true, it is still unique to every individual. This generally depends on their cultural perspectives, religion, and ethnic background, which ties together the overall death experience.
Since death has been one of the relatively unspoken topics, the volunteer program has opened up new things for me to explore. For most people, the concept of dying has always had a negative connotation where people suffer and struggle to live before reaching the end of their lives. The volunteer experience, however, provided me a new perspective. The fact that it ends a meaningful and prosperous life makes it beautiful. It gives people something to hope for as it becomes the doorway or bridge for a new life and beginning. Death, as commonly perceived, is not only a means to an end, but it is also a start for something new. As we lose all of our possessions and relationships, we get another chance of making new ones as we approach our death bed.
Doctors, as talked about in Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, have always had trouble handling conversations about death. As Gawande phrased it, what doctors learn in medical school, such as anatomy and physiology of the human body, human disease and treatment, clinical procedures, etc., are just the tip of the iceberg of what doctors face in their jobs when handling patients. In addition, Gawande mentioned how doctors are not exactly trained to understand the spiritual and moral side of having conversations about dying, as they focus more on the clinical aspect of it. Providing such news to patients and family members and providing them an “end time” can be truly devastating both emotionally and physically. Especially with the wide range of cultural and spiritual perspectives that exists in all mankind, it is oftentimes difficult to bring these kinds of conversations. The limits of what doctors can do regarding death is something, as a pre-med student, I have been reflecting on. Which is why I am hoping that the volunteer program will make me a better doctor in the near future.
In the beginning of the year, I had a rough start as I was still learning how to start conversations about death and providing emotional support to patients and family members. I had trouble answering certain questions from patients, and there were times that I questioned even myself regarding my beliefs on death. Before starting in the program, I always had a positive view on it because of my religious Christian background. These all changed, however, after I have been exposed to real-life dying situations where I have directly observed how a person’s integrity started to collapse as they approach the end of life. It reshaped my understanding on death in a way that I now see it at a different light, while considering the perspectives of others that guide them through the process. I have now learned to value the actions I take and the life I hold more dearly as I now understand that the means of its end is the one that gives more value to it.