The patient (named “Sophie” in this essay for anonymity) and I have become quite close over the past weeks. Initially, “Sophie” was reluctant to speak but as days passed by, she started opening up and our conversations became lengthier. As she grew cognizant of my presence and my weekly visits, I felt the nature of our relationship deepening. I have come to know “Sophie” as a soft-spoken individual who has lived an event-filled life of love and family, appreciative of all the small details of life. An intelligent individual – she knows more than she lets on and quietly observes everyone and everything happening around her.
As a first-time hospice volunteer, I found the training regarding my perspective towards death and communication with my patient most helpful in becoming an effective hospice volunteer. Before my time with Compassus, death had always been touched upon as a grim subject. Yet during my hospice training, I learned about the various spiritual meanings of death and how the end of life can be beautiful in its own form. This training has given me hope for all stages of life and rather than viewing death as a grave subject. I now believe there comes a time where acceptance, preparation, and comfort for the patient becomes a priority. As a companion, I have also grown to perceive changes in mannerisms and body language to recognize “Sophie”’s emotions and condition – whether she would prefer personal time or to try a different activity or whether she would like to lead the conversation.
I’ve also learned an incredible amount from other student volunteers. Hearing anecdotes from fellow volunteers about meaningful moments with their patients continues to motivate me in my own work and I appreciate the opportunity to develop this type of relationship with “Sophie”. As the world becomes increasingly plagued by violence and chaos, I believe hospice is an example of humanity at its best: Strangers gain the opportunity to get to know each other and appreciate each other’s company, stories, and journeys. Getting to know someone who grew up during a different time period in a different country and with a different culture is a transformational experience. I am able to sit with “Sophie” through her difficult times and act as a light for someone, providing a type of emotional healing that no medication can provide.
The hospice experience has affected my sense of vocation by teaching me the significance of knowing someone on a personal level, beyond the status of a “patient”. This has bolstered my interest in becoming a physician who can serve my patient in more than one way. Beyond providing medical help, I strive to provide emotional care and support to patients. My hospice experience has taught me the significance of treating death with respect and dignity. Loss can become a shared experience and in a world fixated on finding technological solutions, I now recognize the significance of having to accept a course of life out of your control. At those times, one needs to focus on the spiritual and interpersonal aspects of human-human relationships, which is just as applicable to a physician-patient relationship. Looking beyond the patient in the bed and instead, it is important to recognize the life the patient has lived and the human that they are. The hospice experience has transformed my outlook on life, enabling me to grow as a more receptive individual who appreciates the smaller joys of life and the company of friends and family around me.