When I attended the information session on becoming a hospice volunteer, I was unsure if this type of work would be right for me. I wasn’t even confident I knew what hospice meant. However, after consideration, I took a leap of faith and went through the onboarding process.
A few months later, I finally saw my first patient and began the role of her companion. Kim, as we called her, was shy at first and forgot who I was every week without fail. She was pleasantly confused and minimally verbal. But as time went on, Kim started to remember who I was and even began to enunciate her words during conversation; she was becoming familiar with me. While she was nonverbal most of the time, she taught me how important it was to just be there for a patient, regardless of the medical treatments being given. I became aware of the impact that my presence had while sitting with her once a week and listening to whatever she had to say. During her life, she loved to garden and we would always talk about certain plants or flowers. It was unfortunate that she had no family who came to visit or were really in her life. Knowing this, I made sure that I made the most out of my time when I visited Kim. I made sure that she knew someone cared greatly about her and her wellbeing.
I was very grateful that I was able to develop a longer relationship with her, around 6 months, compared to some of the other patients I had heard fellow volunteers talk about in our Sunday meetings. When Kim started to decline and I was notified of this, it was very difficult for me to come to terms with. I had never dealt with the end of life in such a way. However, over the course of my hospice experience, I had grown into someone who was capable of understanding end-of-life care and death. I recognized that I needed to be there for Kim, as she probably was scared. Despite by schedule getting busy prior to my last visit, I was so glad I visited her the last week because she unfortunately passed away that weekend. Losing Kim as a patient was hard to deal with at first, because it was the first time I had lost a patient and someone I had grown close with. However, it was my experience with her that led me to continue serving as a hospice volunteer.
This experience is something I can highlight on my medical school application. I have recognized that being a physician is equally important at all stages of life and my experience with her assured me that I am capable of providing this care as a physician. Kim helped me to understand health care in a holistic manner – that it not only consists of curative measures, but comfort measures as well. Kim really propelled me to see myself as a physician who’s able to care for patients at all stages of life, even when there doesn’t seem to be any hope.