Hospice care is a branch of healthcare that focuses on providing comfort to individuals nearing the end of their lives. During my time volunteering this school year, I had the privilege of spending time with a man who had dementia. This experience profoundly changed my perspective on life and what hospice care can be like. What I initially anticipated to be a somber and emotional experience turned out to be a joyful, calm, and deeply nostalgic journey.
The patient I worked with, “X”, was a former family law lawyer. Despite his dementia, he had a sharp sense of humor and was always full of witty comments. Quite frequently, he would make a “punny” joke or play on words, and it would often take me a minute to process what he had said–and it never failed to make me laugh. His stories, though sometimes inconsistent, were so engaging. I remember him talking about his sons and how proud he was of their academic capabilities. He spoke fondly of his father, whom he based his law career on, and how his sons would hopefully follow in “X’s” own footsteps. He often shared memories of his childhood, telling me about playing football with his brother and the ice cream truck his family used to run. “X” always was sure to mention his particular fondness for mint chip ice cream, which the nurses always seemed to get for him. Though many of the details didn’t always align with stories he had told me before, the joy and nostalgia in his voice was undeniable. His ability to find humor and joy in those memories, even as his mind was fading, left a lasting impression on me.
What struck me most was how easy it was to talk to him. Despite his confusion, our conversations never felt forced or strained. We’d often share laughs, and I would listen to him tell stories from his childhood, situations from his career, or stories he saw in the newspaper. “X” was also a big fan of football, and he occasionally would explain to me how his favorite teams (the Eagles being one of them!) were doing during the season. His presence, calm and filled with good humor, created an environment that was far from what I had imagined hospice care to be. I had expected the experience to be filled with sadness and loss, but instead, it was a celebration of his life, marked by lightheartedness and a profound connection. It felt like a peaceful, almost joyful time—something that I hadn’t anticipated in the context of end-of-life care.
Working with this patient made me reflect deeply on the nature of hospice care. Initially, I thought hospice was solely about managing pain and preparing for death. I imagined fear, sadness, tears, and uncertainty for the future when I previously thought of the word “hospice.” But my time with “X” made me realize that hospice care is as much about preparing for death as it is about fostering connections and creating a peaceful environment. This experience taught me that hospice work is about honoring the person—celebrating their memories, engaging with their stories, and offering them a sense of continuity and respect during the final stage of life. “X’s” humor and nostalgia revealed that even in the face of dementia and physical decline, there is still room for joy, humor, and connection.
My idea of purpose has grown stronger through this experience. I now see that a fulfilling career doesn’t just mean helping people recover or reach milestones, but also supporting them through their final stages with kindness and respect. Although I no longer plan on pursuing a career directly involved with medicine or patient care, I have such a deeper respect and appreciation for those involved in hospice work. Through the prompts and assignments during the Athena Program, I have seen and read about a range of end-of-life experiences and the different types of care that they receive. Hospice care can be ever so painful and scary for the patient and family, but it can also be a time to joyously reflect on a life well-lived and to find and create comfort however possible.