We don’t often acknowledge this idea, but opposites give one another meaning. They serve as reference points for one another, and we can only perceive one in the context of a life where the other exists. For example, the happy moments we experience can only be valuable to us once we know of sadness (and vice versa). The same goes for other ‘opposite’ concepts: left and right, up and down, high and low, etc.
For many of us, our experiences are, altogether, a tolerable balance of opposites, which build a meaningful existence that we come to value and appreciate. All things—positives and negatives, ups and downs—come and go in due time. Understanding this can help us acknowledge and appreciate the role that each of life’s moments play in developing us uniquely.
Working with Holisticare pushed me to realize that life and death can also be understood as necessary opposites that give one another meaning. By accepting death, we can both dissolve some of the fear and uncertainty surrounding it, and present an opportunity for ourselves to create, find, and appreciate the meaning in life—meaning that will come from accepting that life will one day be gone. This mentality can lead to feelings of peace and freedom throughout life, and even as one faces end-of-life experiences.
This past year I’ve learned how hospice programs encourage conversations about death in order to allow patients (and their families) to begin developing a plan for how they would like to move forward with their care. Taking those kind of steps can have a great influence on patients and help them develop that peaceful mindset.
I saw an example of this when working with my first patient, Jane. Besides the liveliness and alertness that she demonstrated during all of my visits, Jane allowed herself to indulge in the things that made her happy. We would read books, and listen to podcasts together, and she was always very invested in the experience. “Wait, so she was caught by the police?” “What did you think of that part?” she would ask. Jane never missed a beat, always asking questions and making sure she was able to create enjoyment for herself, regardless of her condition.
She also participated in music therapy sessions. I was fortunate enough to sit in on one of them, and I’m happy I was able to. From the time the music therapist entered the room and took a seat, Jane’s eyes visibly lit up with excitement. She even turned to me and said, “You’re gonna love this. The music is absolutely beautiful.” The therapist adjusted her guitar, cleared her throat, and began to strum and sing. Jane closed her eyes, began swaying her body, and allowed herself to be taken away by the music, transporting to whatever place she wanted to go right then. It was such a heart-warming experience. She was so free and untroubled as she swayed to the music. She was present. She allowed the music to consume her and did nothing except enjoy her existence and the sensations she was experiencing in that moment. She accepted death as a necessary opposite to life.
Working with Holisticare has shaped the way I view life, death, the medical field, and all the interactions between the three. This experience has been a valuable one, and I know that what I have learned will influence not only my life, but the way I interact with others’ lives as a friend, family member, and future medical professional.