Entering hospice volunteering, my aspiration was to refine my caretaking skills and deepen my empathy for patients’ needs. Yet, I grappled with daunting concerns about my own mental well-being and my perceived inability to provide comfort. I felt constrained, fearing I could only broach conversations about death, hindered by my lack of musical or vocal talents in connecting with patients.
On my initial encounter with ‘Sally’, these worries weighed heavily on my mind. She was a frail elderly woman, reliant on assistance for almost everything. Her exhaustion limited our communication to mere fragments of conversation. Fortunately, her roommate, Jessica, became my conduit to Sally’s life story. Each day, I sought common ground, complimenting ‘Sally’s’ embroidered blankets, discussing the weather, sharing snippets of my life, and highlighting ‘Jessica’s’ joy in their companionship. Though ‘Sally’ remained silent, ‘Jessica’ assured me that my presence brought her comfort.
Learning of Sally’s isolation, with rare visits from her son and days spent alone, filled me with deep sorrow. It reinforced my resolve to alleviate such loneliness, recognizing it as an experience no one should endure. As spring break approached, I notified Jessica of my impending absence, unaware it would mark my final interaction with Sally. Her passing left me heartbroken, compounded by the realization that her son chose not to arrange her burial.
Returning to Sally’s room the following week, the sight of white folded sheets symbolized her departure. It was a profoundly emotional moment, realizing I had lost two cherished friends in one day. Jessica’s revelation that Sally recognized and found solace in my visits became my proudest moment. Though uncertain of the extent of my impact, I found solace in the possibility that I had eased Sally’s burden, however slight.
Through hospice volunteering, my fears and doubts have been assuaged, replaced by a strengthened resolve to support and protect patients. I’ve come to understand that a person transcends their illness, and our role is to enrich their lives with happiness and meaning. This realization has dispelled the awkwardness and tension in my interactions, preparing me immensely for the journey ahead as a physician.