When I signed up to be a hospice volunteer, I was not quite sure what to expect. Based on my experience of grandparents in end-of-life care, I assumed my role would involve talking to patients about their fears or simply offering silent companionship. I did not anticipate the joy and gratitude that can come along at the end of life. Over the course of this program, I have been able to form new relationships, including one in particular that has impacted me deeply.
I have been with my patient, “Nancy”, since I started the program. Initially, she resisted my visits, understandably cautious of a masked stranger. However, after a few weeks, she began confiding in me, sharing stories about her late husband and her childhood. One memorable week, she introduced me to everyone she knew, making it a particularly meaningful visit because I realized how much of an impact my visits had on her. That same week, she told me that I am the only person that visited her–a moment that truly underscored how much my presence meant. Despite this progress, the following weeks were challenging, as she was often not up for visits and grew upset at my presence. Although some weeks are difficult, it is the weeks that she welcomes me warmly that remind me why I show up, hoping to bring her even a moment of comfort and connection. From “Nancy”, I’ve learned the value of patience, persistence, and being present for patients. Even when she’s not in the mood to engage, her appreciation for my kindness and consistency is evident.
Working closely with my patients has deepened my empathy and emotional awareness, reinforcing that every patient is a person, and even small gestures–like saying hello or lending a listening ear–can bring brightness to someone’s day. My hospice experience has also taught me the value of persistence. I remember one week when ‘Nancy’ did not want me to visit and bluntly told me, “Stop making a pest of yourself”. At that moment, I took it personally. However, at a later visit, when she expressed her gratitude for my presence, I realized even if I was being a ‘pest’, my consistency mattered–to her and to me. This experience strengthened my commitment to showing up for otters, even when it is difficult, and has reaffirmed my desire to pursue a vocation centered on care, patience, and human connection.
This program has given me a deeper understanding of the emotional complexities of being a physician–particularly in navigating end-of-life care, a topic often overlooked in medical training and society. As Atul Gawande discusses in Being Mortal, modern medicine seems to prioritize prolonging life instead of focusing on quality of life. My experience in hospice care has deepened my understanding of this reality, showing me the importance of discussing mortality with patients in an honest and compassionate way. I now feel more comfortable addressing difficult conversations about death, not as a failure of medicine, but as an essential part of life. This program has reinforced my commitment to becoming a physician who prioritizes not only treatment but also the well-being and wishes of my patients.