Trusting Bonds

Throughout my time as a hospice volunteer, I’ve come to see how communication happens across a variety of mediums, and encompasses so much more than just verbal. Many of the patients who I have come to know and form a relationship with cannot speak due to the progression of their diseases, and learning to communicate through touch, body language, or just contemplative silence has been instrumental in forming these bonds. I’ve also seen how important it is for patients to have trust in their medical care personnel. I have been coming to see this one particular patient over many weeks. She was suffering from breast cancer, but still very lively and we watched TV in companionable silence many times, interjected by one word phrases and limited verbal communication. However, this one time, I noticed that she was particularly tired, and as she drifted in and out of sleep, she gripped my hand. Believing at first that she wanted comfort through touch, I laid my other hand on top of her, only to hear her murmur something under her breath. Gradually, I realized that she was in a lot of discomfort from the angle her bed was set up at. I eventually alerted a nurse and we discovered that the sores on her upper thighs had become inflamed from the position she was in. The nurse remarked that the patient never mentioned anything about pain to her. I came to see how important the relationship aspect of a caregiver-patient role is, not only because it serves as a source of support for the patient, but also because they feel comfortable in disclosing valuable information that we can help support. I walked away from that shift a little shaken at how the patient wasn’t checked up upon the entire afternoon until I had arrived, but also with a resolve to pay closer attention to all of my other patients. This experience has taught me about the importance of trust in the medical care system, how often and easy it can be broken, but also how it can be maintained.