My hospice journey began with a patient in the late stages of neurodegenerative disease. Even though she was awake, she could not speak or show conscious awareness of her surroundings. It was frustrating at first because I did not know how to interact with her. I tried asking questions, showing her pictures, and reading to her. But because she was not giving any feedback, I wondered if I was making an impact at all.
Then one day, when I sat down and greeted her, she looked at me and smiled. Somehow, I knew she recognized me. Since then, even though her smiles were far and few between, they were extremely rewarding and reminded me that even if a patient can not always show their happiness or gratitude, it was worth it to keep trying. Through my attempts to connect with her, I once tried playing her piano music from my cell phone, and her eyes instantly lit up. Since then, I played her music every time I visited, and have received more smiles and small cues that she was enjoying my company.
This experience has taught me a valuable lesson about how to communicate with people that express themselves in different ways than I have been accustomed to. The ability to connect with people and recognize their humanity even when they are nonverbal is a valuable skill that doctors must possess in order to treat a diverse group of patients. Each person is unique and may require unique modes of interaction, but a doctor’s duty is to communicate with every patient with care and respect. Additionally, my experience in hospice has helped me to push my comfort zone and acquire tenacity in the face of initial failure. An important trait for doctors is perseverance to approach problems from multiple angles and try new solutions, much like my search for a way to connect with my hospice patient and eventual discovery of her love for music.
Most importantly, the hospice program has provided intimate exposure to the concept of death, which is too often tiptoed around in the medical field. However, in speaking with and being around patients in the process of dying, it has become evident to me that death is a part of the journey that must be acknowledged in a healthy manner. Human life is beautiful in spite of and because of death, and there are many ways to see death that are positive and constructive to patients. Doctors who view death in a constructive manner can better serve their patients by knowing when and how to talk about the process.
Overall, I believe hospice care and the concept of death is often overlooked in medical training, and this volunteer opportunity has given me invaluable perspective on the end stages of human life. After interacting with patients who have lost many physical and mental abilities but were still able to love and be loved, I have gained an even deeper respect for humanity, and after hearing about their fascinating past experiences and outlook about dying, I have come to see the cycle of life as a beautiful and empowering thing.