This past summer after I was accepted into this program, I was on the other side of Hospice care. I watched one of my close cousins battle cancer and eventually she was put on hospice. Within just a week on hospice, she passed. After that, I was extremely nervous about doing this program because I did not want my personal emotions to affect how I treated patients. Ultimately, I decided to continue with the program, and it truly was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. Working with hospice patients, has helped me find new ways to cope with loss and emphasized the importance of end-of life care and relationships.
My most meaningful patient relationship to date was with patient MT. MT and I had an instant connection. Before I could even introduce myself, she asked me if I was her new friend from hospice, and I happily got to answer “yes”. MT was a big storyteller, and she had so many great ones. I learned that MT was always unapologetically herself, one “crazy old lady” as she always said. In my second to last visit with MT, she told me that she had been up the whole night chatting with her deceased mother, brother, and husband. She described to me the party they had in her room and how she was so excited to join their adventure soon. She said to me “Love will carry this crazy lady to her people, and I’ll be up to no good with them again. When my time is here, I will be okay.” When I arrived at my last visit with MT she had declined significantly and could no longer talk. I sat next to her bed held her hand and thanked her for her stories. Eventually she was taken to the hospital and as I said my last goodbye she squeezed my hand and gave me a soft smile, and from that I knew, she would be happily back with her people soon.
MT showed me that death only needs to be scary of you let it. She chose to see the good and she was proud of the life she was leaving behind. I am honored to have been a part of MT’s last weeks and I hope she enjoyed the company as much as I did. My connection with Mt has helped me with all my other patients, and as shown me how important it is to strive for meaningful conversations with patients, as it helps everyone cope with loss.
As a pre-med student, you get sucked into how you need the best grades and the most interesting research, but you don’t think about the most important thing you need to be a doctor: empathy. A doctor’s job is to listen, to care, and to support their patients. You can only do this if you are willing to spend the time getting to know your patients through active listening and meaningful conversations. It is important to remember that every patient is a unique person with their own story, and how they want their story on earth to end should be up to them. The Athena Hospice Program has shown me the power of empathy and has encouraged me to become a better listener and conversationalist. One day I hope to use these skills as a physician, but for now I will make sure to soak up every moment with my patients and continue to try and help them as much as they’ve all helped me.